


Stop With the Nerdy

by fanficology



Series: Talk Nerdy to Me [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Nerdiness, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-13
Updated: 2012-10-13
Packaged: 2017-11-16 06:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/536563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficology/pseuds/fanficology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion Piece to Talk Nerdy to Me.  John stumbles upon Sherlock's kink.  He reacts appropriately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was taking prompts at my tumblr. Strawberrypatty requested "Companion to “Talk Nerdy to Me”. JOHN figuring out about Sherlock’s fetish and the horror that would no doubt follow. Yeah, I’m going WAY back."
> 
> So here it is! Unbetaed as of now.

St. Bartholomew’s Hospital was holding a small roundtable discussion on Forensic Science in the United Kingdom. 

John was not too keen on attending. He may be a damn good physician, if he did say so himself, but he knew very little about forensics. People seemed to think he did as he followed Sherlock about but he was mostly there for the thrill and to keep Sherlock from getting himself killed. He did like solving mysteries but not forensically. Oh no. He’ll leave that to Sherlock and Molly and even Anderson. But here he was, sitting in the audience, trying not to be bored out of his skull. He was sure that it was fascinating but he couldn’t bring himself to understand what they were talking about. These people were not clinicians. They may have applied jobs but by and large these people were academics. They spoke the language of cohort and longitudinal studies. Instead of the Queen’s English they spoke Greek. Literally. Their language was riddled with chi-tests, sigma squared, and alphas. They liked standard deviations, t-tests, z-tests, p-values, ANOVAs, and Mann-Whitney U. Instead of bickering about normal things such as formularies and drug advances they bickered about SAS, Stata, R, and SPSS.

These people were not normal and John still wasn’t entirely sure why he was here. He knew why Sherlock was there, he was always keen on expanding his forensic knowledge. John was pretty sure he just sort of followed Sherlock here in a hangover induced fog, assuming they were working a case.

He was in the middle doodling in his program, filling in all the letter spaces, when he heard Sherlock inhale sharply. John glanced at him out of the corner of his eye in worry. Was Sherlock about to stand up and tell someone that they were wrong in front of a couple hundred of their peers? Thank God they were in the last row, tucked in a corner, it would be easier to wrestle him out the door if he became too riled up.

“Delia Turner had to cancel due to a family emergency so her colleague and co-researcher, Molly Hooper will be stepping in.” Mike Stamford turned to the side and started clapping as Molly stepped up on to the stage. She wobbled a bit in her heels, as she had made sure to dress smartly for the day. Molly let out a weak smile as she sat down in the empty chair. John felt a stab of pity for her. He knew that she was quite brilliant but also equally shy. She looked almost like she was going to be sick all over the table.

“Think she’ll be okay?” John whispered to Sherlock. Sherlock looked pale and shrugged. John kept looking at Sherlock out of the corner of his eye as he turned back to face the front. Was Sherlock actually nervous for Molly? Something seemed off about this.

The conversation resumed, Molly chiming in only when necessary. She kept her answers clear and brief. Sherlock seemed to be slowly relaxing as it became apparent that Molly was glad to let the others dominate the conversation.

John went back to doodling on his pamphlet. Five more minutes until they break for lunch. He was going to sneak out then, with or without Sherlock.

Sherlock’s sudden inhalation and straightening of his posture brought John’s attention back to his best mate. His face was flushed as he kept his eyes locked on the front of the room. 

“The best comparison I can give you, Dr. Zhang is that of the osteological paradox,” Molly said quietly.

“Do you want to elaborate on that? For those who are unfamiliar?” The man to the right of Molly asked. “It’s been years and I don’t think I remember it all.”

“Oh! Um-of course.” Molly took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s been awhile since my paleopathology class so bear with me. To put it simply, the osteological paradox is about assessing the health in a historic population. The question is whether remains with bone lesions are actually the healthy individuals that survived and those without lesions died too quickly and couldn't develop…”

The rhythmic crinkling of paper caught John’s attention. He looked down to see that Sherlock was flexing and relaxing the hand that held his program. In fact Sherlock seemed to be almost humming with energy as he stared at his girlfriend. No offense to Molly, but Sherlock right now was way more interesting than her going on about ‘hidden heterogeneity’ and ‘demographic nonstationarity.’ Sherlock kept subtly shifting throughout Molly’s talk while taking deep breaths. He seemed like he was trying his best to appear nonchalant instead of actually being nonchalant. It was almost as if he was suddenly overheated or…No. Really?

John was a good deal more observant than his flatmate gave him credit for. Normally, he kept his mouth shut about his little observations because unlike the big-mouthed consulting detective, he knew what was good and not good. True, Sherlock had gotten a bit better since he started dating Molly. Being thrown in the proverbial doghouse for being a smartarse taught him to think it through at least once before opening his mouth. Now, John was dying to know if his hypothesis was correct. He kept glancing at Sherlock as often as he dared to take in his reactions.

He was so caught up in observing the rare species of _Holmes sherlockensis_ that John jumped in his seat when Mike announced they would break for lunch. Sherlock leapt to his feet as if he was on fire and exited the room as quickly as possible. John lost him in the crowd of people making beelines to either their respective loos or the refreshment tables. The doctor threaded his way as quickly as he could through the crowd trying to find his friend.

After several minutes of peering around people, he gave up and decided to look for Molly. Maybe she’d be easier to find. Less then a minute after he switched from hunting for his flatmate to hunting for his flatmate’s girlfriend, he found her. And Sherlock.

Sherlock was dragging a stumbling bright red Molly out a side door. John made his way around the table and followed. This was a mystery. He liked solving mysteries.

The door opened to an empty nondescript hospital hallway. “Damn,” he cursed.

He couldn’t see which way they went. Right led to Molly’s office, left led to the laboratory and the branching hallway to the right lead to the mortuary. All excellent places for the couple to go, depending upon why they were leaving. John shrugged and went right. If nothing else, that is where the vending machines were. The food at the conference may have been free but it looked horrid. He was no longer a university student; he could afford to be pickier with his food choices.

“Christ!” John gasped in surprise as something heavy was slammed against the closed door to the left. Muffled feminine laughter came from inside. He knew that laugh. John took a step closer to hear what was going on.

“Didn’t do it on purpose,” Molly’s said, her voice muted but audible. “Had to answer the question.”

“Liar. Temptress. You knew what would happen.” Sherlock voice was low and breathless as he responded.

Molly made a noise that could have been a gasp but John couldn’t be sure. “Shall I woo you with selective mortality and porotic hyperostosis?” Molly purred.

“Do,” Sherlock commanded. Molly answered with a keen. “Skirts are so convenient. You should wear them more often.”

John’s eyes widened. He assumed Sherlock had grabbed her for a quick snog, possibly an experiment. Apparently not. The former Army doctor quickly beat his retreat back to the conference room. He heard them shag enough when he was home, no need to hear it again if he could avoid it. John had his hand on the doorknob back to the conference room when he started to laugh. Hearing his girlfriend talk science lit his fire. Sherlock liked nerdy talk. Not dirty talk but nerdy talk. “He would,” John said to himself. “He would.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's had enough

“Okay. You have to stop you two. Seriously!” John said in frustration in his chair.

Molly looked up from where she was quietly reading her journal article aloud to Sherlock in the kitchen. She let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Sorry, what?”

“The science! You need to stop talking about it. Just stop. I know what you two are doing.”

“Unless ‘doing’ means having a meaningful conversation with Molly, I have no idea what you are talking about John. Try to make a modicum of sense in the future.” Sherlock waved his hand dismissively at John.

John twisted in his chair to glare at them. Ever since that conference three weeks ago John couldn’t stop noticing their utilization of scientific foreplay. Molly would whisper results and procedures to Sherlock in the lab, causing him to flush. One time the three of them were discussing the Higgs-Boson particle at dinner. John had left to go to the bathroom and when he came back, not only were they still discussing it, Molly was slowly running her foot up and down Sherlock’s leg, stopping occasionally to massage his crotch. 

To think that they had been doing this for months before he had figured it out. In a sense he was part of their foreplay because he used to have medical conversations with Molly that would end with Sherlock becoming more and more affectionate until John withdrew in a hurry. He felt a bit uncomfortable that he had facilitated his flatmate’s sex life. Especially when he remembered the time, a couple months ago when they had gone out to Angelo’s. He forgot what Molly and he had been talking about the more they talked about it, the more flushed she got. He had believed her when she said that she was a little warm. Thinking back, he realized that Sherlock’s left hand was out of sight the entire time of their conversation. He didn’t want to think about how it had occupied itself under the tablecloth. It was ludicrous the amount of blatant and public foreplay those two would have. 

“No, I mean you two and your kinky talk. You have to stop while I’m here. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Kinky talk?” Molly asked faintly. She turned in her chair to face John. 

“Yes. You two with the science and the sex and the snogging. Don’t think I don’t know that you use it as foreplay. You just. You two have got to stop it in public. You’re not subtle. At all.”

Molly turned bright red at being caught. Even Sherlock’s ears took on a glow at John’s words. Molly started shuffling her papers, trying to distract herself. John had to admit he felt a little bad embarrassing her, but she brought it on herself. Sherlock maintained John’s gaze as he stood up from his chair next to Molly. “Well, no use hiding it, is there?”

At that, Sherlock turned so he was facing Molly, tipped her head back and kissed her soundly. 

“Really?” John asked in annoyance. He shifted uncomfortably as it became obvious what had begun as making a point turned into something more. Molly let out a hum of bliss as she opened her legs to allow Sherlock to come closer. John flashbacked to the day of the conference when he realized Molly was wearing a skirt. Oh shit. “Okay you two, you’ve made your point.”

If they had heard him, they made no acknowledgement. Molly wrapped her arms around his neck, surging up towards him. “Seriously, stop. I don’t know what you are trying to prove but stop.” Molly brought one hand down from Sherlock’s neck to run down his back and cup his arse to pull him closer. One leg came up to wrap around his waist, causing her skirt to ride up.

“Christ,” John said with disgust. He got out of his chair and hurried up the stairs, Sherlock’s chuckle and Molly’s giggle echoing behind him as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sempaiko created an absolutely amazing drawing that was inspired by this chapter. 
> 
> View it here: http://sempaiko.tumblr.com/post/32990639093/i-was


End file.
